Humor alone can heal. Any resemblance to actual persons or things or events is purely for fun. Any hurt feelings or censorious limitations are intentional. Feel free to add your own snippets.

 


Alright!  Yahoos, to my right.  Yahees, to my left.

 


Edited version of "Many Lives ..." acceptable to all.

 

... a ... to ... for ... at ... by ... is[1] ... only ...

 

[1] Refer to William J. Clinton for the meaning of "is"

 


Now let me describe this picture. The pond scum hides three tadpoles and two snakes.  Of evenings a bee enters the bonnet, er, the alleged flower of indeterminate type.



 

http://www.loguk.com/photos/uncategorized/lotus.jpg

 


"Namaste?  I cannot accept your sentimental religious salutation."

"Howdy?  I cannot accept your cold, rational handshake."

 


Decontextualized extracts from "Many Words of Obama", 2053, a literal biography by the founding curator for over 37 years of the B.O. Presidential Library, with endorsement on the back cover by Sarah Palin.

 

[1] Birth certificate

[2] Muslim

[3] Communist

[4] TOTUS

etc.

 


"Many Lives of Krishna" by T. Hees.

 

Habitual thief and flirt allegedly told Arjuna in a fictional second-hand account some hard-to-understand things.

 


Late night infomercial for Supernimb [some time in the future]

 

I was on my way to a beach vacation, and this book I flipped through at the airport changed my life!!! I discovered a new principle, the Supernimb!!! In the book I read that a hundred years ago some deviant schizophrenic caught a glimpse of it but couldn't figure out its power. So don't read anything written by that weirdo and listen only to me. During my addled vacation I figured it out and I became a new person!!! And now, for three easy payments of $19.95, I can give you the power of Supernimb.  Supernimb stretches your ligaments and turns you into a new type of super-athlete.  Golfing? Turn your par 5s into eagles. Baseball? Homer each at bat. After we receive your payment, within three days you will receive a bottle. It might seem empty, but don't be fooled—it has a never-ending supply of Supernimb, which is a colorless, odorless gas. All you have to do is sit in the sun at mid-day and inhale deeply from the bottle three times.  Etc.