... Last night, I spent the whole night with Sri
Aurobindo somewhere, I don't know where, but there were lots of people. The two
of us were alone, but we saw a multitude of people pass by. But the peculiar
thing is that when I wake up, it doesn't go away! And when I lie down again,
it's there, just where I had left it: it goes on. There's no longer a ... You
know, in dreams, you have a dream, and then (gesture of breaking off to another level), the consciousness you're
in suddenly changes, and it's over, you have to make an effort to recapture
your dream or the state-but this doesn't budge! It doesn't budge, it's there
like this (Mother slips the fingers of
one hand between those of the other), all the time: it goes on, whether I
concern myself with it or not.
It's rather new.
I no longer feel I am dreaming, you understand: it's an
activity I grow conscious of.
But Sri Aurobindo was ... it's odd, he looked as if
younger. He was happy, and very amused, passing all kinds of remarks—remarks
full of humor, you know!—about things and people. I noticed he was ... as if
brighter, I don't know how to put it.
Last night it was very particular. I no longer have the
impression of dreaming, no longer at all. It no longer has anything to do with a
dream: it's an activity that goes on and on. If I remain very tranquil, like
that, it goes on.
(long silence)
In the end, it's all a question of consciousness.
The body is growing INTENSELY conscious of what responds to the true Influence, and
what's still the residue of habit and the universal, terrestrial development
(general, terrestrial), very conscious. Sometimes, it's ... almost painful, you
know, that old way of being.
And at certain times, the vision is almost veiled, as
though I were seeing through a veil; at other times it's ABSOLUTELY precise. I can't believe it depends on the eyes.
With some people, when they come I see them absolutely
precise; with others, I hardly see, hardly perceive where their eyes are, or
their mouth.... It must depend on something else.
(Mother goes into
a long contemplation)
What did you feel just now?
...
Nothing special?
I always feel
the Power, there, present.
It was that world I was telling you about ... as if it
wanted to ENTER into this world (and there
is indeed a great power in it), and, I don't know how to explain ... as if it
wanted to force its way into this world. And it came ... (you know, it comes
without the least personal will, I am like this [still, silent gesture]), it comes and IMPOSES itself, it settles with such power. And the
relationship with things and people and the consciousness works differently It
came very strongly, and you were IN it:
you weren't outside, you were in it. So I was hoping you had felt something.
It's always the
Power that I feel.
It's like that, yes.
But instead of
a transformation as we imagine it, won't it be a sort of invasion by this
subtle world, which will pierce the veil, the barrier, and will enter, will
manifest in the physical world?
It may well be.... It may well be!
Because a few
days ago, I read again a text of Sri Aurobindo with quite a different
understanding....
Ah, what text?
It was a very
"Ordinary" text (I've brought it with me), in The Riddle of this World.
Ah!
And at the
end, he says this, which he said many times but which I understand differently:
"His [mental man 's] full liberation and enlightenment will come when he
crosses the line into the light of a new superconscient existence ...."
And then he says:
"But in
itself this would change nothing in the creation here, the evasion of a
liberated soul from the world makes to that world no difference. But this
crossing of the line if turned not only to an ascending but to a descending
purpose would mean the transformation of the line from what it now is, a lid, a
barrier, into a passage for the higher powers of consciousness of the Being now
above it ...."
Ooh! ... It seems to be that.
Yes! I
understood it differently, but one may understand that ... this subtle world
will break the screen, or the barrier, and will be able to manifest physically!
Yes, that's what seems to want to happen.... Because
just now, it was so imperative.
(silence)
The only thing is to know whether the phenomenon will
be perceptible only to certain consciousnesses, or perceptible to all? ... Just
now, for example, I ... it wasn't just felt: it's a sort of vision, a sort of
... as if the atmosphere had changed; and I asked you precisely because I
wanted to know whether I alone had noticed it, or if you were ...
But I only
feel the Power, always.
It's curious, it's as if ... the nature of images were
changing, I don't know how to explain.
(silence)
And at the
end, he says that if this line, this barrier could be turned into a passage for
the higher powers, " ... It would mean a new creation on earth, a bringing
in of the ultimate powers which would reverse the conditions here." [The Riddle of this World (July 1933) in Letters on Yoga, 22.31.]
Yes, it's obviously that. It's obviously that.
But until now,
all that was understood as vague phenomena of consciousness up above, but if
it's a manifestation of the...
Ah, no, its HERE.
Yes.
But that's it: it's something that PRESSES to be manifested. I told you, at night I felt that.
And then you wake up and its THERE, it
hasn't budged; you don't MOVE from one
world into the other: the two consciousnesses are together (Mother slips the fingers of her right hand between those of her left
hand). The ordinary consciousness seems artificial, and it's "dominating"—but
it's NOT truer, it's less true. Last
night, it was very, very clear.
It makes for wonderful nights, mon petit! You don't
sleep, yet you are much more rested than if you slept.
But the ordinary consciousness is becoming a bit
cumbersome, a bit painful, physically so.
Oh, it's interesting, I think we've caught the tail of
something!
6 August 1969