When the Mother looks at her own Darshan pictures, looks
objectively, she gets a sort of feeling if she was a different person, sometimes
an old Chinese, sometimes a transposition of Sri Aurobindo, and then sometimes
a person whom she knows very well, but who is not this one. Could he not be a
being that lived in a world other than the physical world of earth? It all appears
strange, more and more so as the body catches the inner rhythm, moves in it.
Possibly, it could be the original consciousness divided into two in a past
life, manifested in two different bodies at the same time. But it may also be someone
existing in a permanent way, in a permanent form somewhere with whom one is in
constant contact in that world, overmental or supramental or other. The body by
itself has more than a feeling, a kind of knowledge—it sees it as a fact. There
are many, many beings, forces, personalities who manifest themselves through
it, even sometimes several at the same time. And then it is Durga or Mahakali
or often a being from very high up who manifests himself. Sometimes it is
beings from a plane nearby who try to make themselves felt, who express themselves.
This time, 24 November 1967, it was someone who looked from a plane of eternity,
looked with a great benevolence, also with an absolute calm, almost
indifference. The two are together, and this was the feeling of the body itself.
The body was saying: “I must aspire, there must be an aspiration so that the
Force may descend upon all these people.” All this the body feels as though
something were making use of it.
29 November
1967
I do not know, but at each Darshan I have the feeling
that I am a different person, and when I see myself in the photos, objectively,
indeed I see a different person every time. Sometimes an old Chinese! Sometimes
a kind of transposition of Sri Aurobindo, a veiled Sri Aurobindo, and then
sometimes a person whom I know very well, but who is not this one: once I was
like that. This has happened to me many times.
I look at it and I say: I know this person very
well—but it has nothing to do with this body. Indeed, it is very well known,
but it is not this; it is not here, but it is very well known. One does not
know for certain if it is a man or a woman, one is not sure.
I asked myself if it was not a being that lived in a
world other than the physical world of earth. Yes, it is someone whom I know
very well, whom I have often seen.
Yes.... Perhaps it is a picture. But which one, I do
not see. He is very familiar to me and if I were told that it was a historical
person, I would not be surprised.
It is strange. And it becomes more and more so. As the
body catches the inner rhythm, this increases.
It cannot be a physical being. What is it? We will know
one day....
Yes, but my impression is like this: someone I have
known very intimately, with whom I have lived perhaps, but not me. That is to
say, the body says: “It is not me.” Inside, it is quite different: there is no
“I-you”, all that does not exist; but the body, it has still got that, it says:
“This is not me, it is someone whom I know very well, very well, but it is not
me.”
It can be two things. Perhaps the original
consciousness divided into two in a past life (this has happened several times)
and was manifested in two different bodies at the same time; and so there has
naturally been an intimacy, probably even an intermixing of life—this may be a
physical occurrence. But it may also be someone existing in a permanent way, in
a permanent form somewhere with whom we are in constant contact in that world
(overmental or supramental or other) and the feeling within is: yes, I know. It
may be either of the two things, I do not know yet which one.
It is more an expression, a type of vibration, an
atmosphere, more than exact features. Yes, it would be rather that, someone who
exists in a permanent way somewhere and with whom we are in contact.
And that would explain this sensation of not knowing
whether it is a man or a woman: it must be a being in an asexual world, where
there is neither man nor woman.
The body by itself has more than a feeling, a kind
of... it is a knowledge—more than a knowledge, it is a fact: there are many,
many beings, forces, personalities who manifest themselves through it, even
sometimes several at the same time. That is a very common experience; we know,
for example, that Sri Aurobindo is there, he speaks and sees, he has his own
way of seeing and expressing himself, that happens very often. And then often
it is Durga or Mahakali or... very often. Often, it is a being from very high
up, very permanent—very permanent—who manifests himself, and then there occurs
a kind of absolute in the being. Sometimes it is beings from a plane nearby who
try to make themselves felt, express themselves, but that is under control.
The body is used to that.
And what was strange is that this time, the 24th, when
I went to the balcony, it was someone... (and this happens to me from time to
time, but more and more often) someone who looks from a sort of plane of
eternity with a great benevolence mixed in (something like benevolence, I do
not know how to express it), but with an
absolute calmness, almost indifference, and the two are together, looking like
that (Mother describes waves far down
below), as if it was seen from very far away, from very high up, from
very—how to say it?—seen with a rather eternal vision. It was that which my
body was feeling when I came out to the balcony. The body was saying: “I must
aspire, there must be an aspiration so that the Force may descend upon all
these people”, and That, it was like this (sweeping
gesture from above). Oh! Very benevolent but a sort of indifference—the
indifference of eternity, I do not know how to explain it. And all this the
body feels as though something were making use of it.
This is why these photographs interest me, it is to
have the state objectified.
We shall know.