Physical sight and hearing have been thrown into the background to
make room for identification by consciousness, for the sake of the growth of
consciousness. The means for relating, knowing, is consciousness identifying itself
with the thing or the person. There are experiences altogether interesting.
The consciousness established there above the head, became more and more
strong, more and more clear; and it was constant. About transformation, well, I do not
know.... What I have explained about “replacement of consciousness” is being
done methodically. Actually, all this time has been utilised for developing the
consciousness of the physical being. And this physical being, the body,
seems really to have been prepared for another consciousness. Indeed, all that
which in the physical nature belonged still to the old world, to its habits,
its ways of doing and being, its ways of acting, all that could not be
“handled” in any other way than this: through illness. I cannot say that it has
not been interesting. The change is there, the change is evident. I have
changed very
much,
there has been wholly a regrouping. There is something in the physical world as
it is which is not yet open to the divine Vibration. And it is this something
which does all, all, all the evil.... The Divine Consciousness is not felt. I
believe something has been done to prepare Matter to receive as it must, in a
suitable way—it has learnt to receive in the right way.
11 January 1971
In physical vision a much more continued concentration is needed.
Physical sight serves to stabilise. It gives a continuity to things. It is the
same thing with regard to hearing. So, when they are not there any more, one
becomes directly conscious of the thing, and that gives the true knowledge. The
Supramental will surely act in that way.
Physical sight and hearing have been thrown into the background to
make room for identification by consciousness, for the sake of the growth of
consciousness.
The means for relating, knowing, is consciousness identifying itself
with the thing or the person. Instead of having the normal sense of separation,
there is the sense of constant union. There are experiences altogether
interesting. There are people who call me and think of me. That comes into the
field of my consciousness. After a time I am told, “such a person has come” or
“something has happened to such a person,” and I say, “I know.” At the time the
thing had happened, I was not told anything, but I was conscious as though the
thing had happened in a part of my own being.
16 January 1971
One of my legs had been dead for a long time (it is just beginning
to revive), paralysed. So naturally, all became difficult.... But what was
remarkable, I can tell you immediately, the consciousness established there, above the head, became more and more strong, more and more clear; and it was constant. I worked, I
continued to work, not only for
About transformation, well, I do not know.... What I have explained
about “replacement of consciousness” is being done methodically, methodically,
continually, continually, but then with... apparent damages or in any case, for
a time, a great diminution of capacities. But it is a curious phenomenon with the
sight and hearing: from time to time it is clear, as clear as it can be, and
from time to time it is completely veiled. And that has very clearly another
origin—another origin of influence. It will take months, I believe, before I am
able to see clearly. In any case, the general consciousness above the head, what may be called the universal consciousness (in any case the terrestrial
consciousness), has not moved for a minute—not for a minute. It remained there
all the while.
This note of 11 January 1971—it is a new functioning. It is
interesting. .... Actually, all this time has been utilised for developing the
consciousness of the physical being. And this physical being, the body,
seems really to have been prepared for another consciousness, because there are
things... its reactions are altogether different, its attitude is different. I
have passed through a period of total indifference when the world represented
nothing, meant nothing. And then, gradually, from there emerged a new perception,
as it were. It is only on the way.
But it was not an innocent paralysis! For at least three weeks—at
least—for three weeks, a constant pain, night and day, twenty-four hours out of
twenty-four, without fluctuation, none: it was as though I was being torn
asunder.... So there was no question of seeing anybody. Now it is finished. The
pain is quite bearable and the body has resumed a little of its normal life.
It was not only the leg, but the lower part of the leg.... But I noticed
how things, the so-called catastrophes or calamities or misfortunes or difficulties,
how all that comes just in the nick of time to help you—just as it is needed to
help you.... Indeed, all that which in the physical nature belonged still to
the old world, to its habits, its ways of doing and being, its ways of acting,
all that could not be “handled” in any other way than this: through illness.
I cannot say that it has not been interesting. I was seeing quite
well that this poor body was not very bright, but that did not occupy me. All the
while there was the feeling of this... this Truth which has to be understood
and manifested. …
Yes, but this note is already a thing of the past, because I have begun
again to see, but in another way. I have begun again to see and hear.
Yes, yes. Oh! That is very clear, very clear. What I need to hear,
I hear, even if it is the slightest sound; but all the noises of conversation,
all the things that make so much noise, I do not hear at all!... Something has
changed. But it is old—it is old, that is to say, old habits are there. But
happily, I was not a person of habits.... Yes, you can say: it is something
tough that is in the process of changing! So it is not supple, it is not easy. But
the change is there, the change is evident. I have changed very much, even as regards
character, as regards understanding, as regards the vision of things—much, very
much.... There has been wholly a regrouping. …
There was a whole period when I was absolutely inaccessible because
I was suffering continuously—one is worthless then. It was continuous,
continuous. One might say that it was but a cry all the while. It lasted a long
time, lasted several weeks. I did not count. Then gradually, it alternated with
moments of calmness when I had no feeling of my leg. And it is only for the
last two or three days that it looks as if it is being put back in order....
Yes, it was such... it was the whole problem of the world—a world that is
nothing but pain and suffering, and a big note of interrogation: why?
I tried all the palliatives that one uses: to change the pain into
pleasure, to remove the capacity of feeling, to occupy oneself with some other
thing.... I tried all the “tricks”—not a single one succeeded! There is
something in the physical world as it is which is not... (how to explain?)
which is not yet open to the divine Vibration. And it is this something which
does all, all, all the evil.... The Divine Consciousness is not felt. And then,
any number of imaginary things (but very real to the sensation) exist, and that
thing, the only true thing is not felt.... But now it is better. It is better.
It is truly interesting. I believe something may have been done on
the general score—it was not merely the difficulty of one body or one person: I
believe something has been done to prepare Matter to receive as it must, in a
suitable way—it was as though it received in a wrong way and it has learnt to
receive in the right way.
It will come. Perhaps, I do not know if it will take months or
years for the thing to become clear. One must be absolutely blind not to see
it. It has reached that point.